Anna Kendrick tweeting from her couch about nonsense is my aesthetic.
If you’re on Twitter at all, you’ll know that Anna Kendrick has some of the best tweets that, honestly, just speak to me on a spiritual, emotional, and physical level. She basically says exactly what I’m thinking 99% of the time. Take a look at some of the highlights below.
Oh God. I just realized I’m stuck with me my whole life.
My online shopping style: Put everything I like in the cart. Edit. Edit more. Edit until I’m down to one item. Decide it’s not even worth typing out my credit card info. Watch free porn.
The Samantha American Girl Doll seems like a bitch. Don’t @ me.
When girls walk through a grocery store produce section in a summertime outfit
I love how a random song will start automatically playing from your phone when you turn your car on… and how it’s the SAME SONG EVERY TIME.
Ghosting: because I’d rather look like an asshole than let you slowly find out that I suck.
Why do I wish for more hours in the day when I spend so much of the time I DO have pinning “healthy recipes” I KNOWWW I’m never gonna try?
Sweatpants without pockets, you can fuck all the way off.
I didn’t text you back because I couldn’t find the right gif.
So….. “I’m hearing you” is code for “I don’t care, but I want this conversation to be over” right?
Me: “Sorry, I couldn’t hear you.” Them: Me: “Totally.”
When you know someone is crazy but your friends are like, “What are you talking about they seem great!”
“Remember when we all pretended to like mushroom shavings that tasted like feet just bc they were expensive?” -everyone in ten years re: truffles
Is a museum just an endurance test of how long you can last before you start making silly comments about the art?
There was a “Corgi Halloween Parade” in Vancouver today and NONE of you told me??? I’m calling the cops.
Comes with fries #3wordsbetterthanIloveyou
Nice try, robots.
I don’t get how the contestants on Chopped stop themselves from going “Yeah, it tastes bad because you made me cook with a pile of garbage.”
Slot machines seem like such an obvious waste of money to me… but I bought an “ugly sweater” just for a party… so I can’t really say shit.
I’d say a good 7 out of 10 days I end up thinking, “I put a bra on for this?”
My dream is to live in the Thanksgiving episode of a 90’s sitcom.
Why does that Sleep Number commercial piss me off so much? “She likes the bed soft! He’s more hardcore!” …I cannot eye-roll hard enough.
My phases of grief: Denial Anger Cookie dough straight from tube Booze Watching adorable animal vids to make sure I can still feel something
Based on my experience in school, I assumed a three hole punch would figure into my everyday life more often than it has.
So, Dropbox is actually a social experiment designed to make us smash things right? #ThatsMyCardioForTheDay
Relationships: because watching Masterchef alone is only 6% as fun.
All movie BFFs: Girl, you need to get laid! Do I need a friend who tells me to get laid? Do I need to get laid?? I have no way of knowing!!
What’s the earliest I can transition into an Elaine-Stritch-style, mean-but-fabulous old lady? Cause I can feel it starting already….
Just spotted a Pop-Tart wrapper under my bed. That seems about right. #GrownWoman
Is it bad if your best friend sees you wearing pants without a drawstring waist and asks “What’s the occasion?”
Hi, I’m Anna, I’m alone tonight and I’m looking for a strapping muscular man to come over because butternut squash is hard to dice. 😗😗😗
Real question: What are the chances I make it through #BatmanvSuperman without blurting “You guys should kiss though.”
In movies, when the super villain tells his origin story I honestly get worried because I relate so hard.
If you call me on the phone I don’t want to talk to you.
My life would be so much easier if it wasn’t for that thing…God, what is that thing called…other people.
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