“Holidate” Is Taking Netflix By Storm, So I Watched It And Here’s How It Is

    “Holidate” Is Taking Netflix By Storm, So I Watched It And Here’s How It Is

    Drink every time they say “holidate.”

    Some Netflix movies are great. Some are…not my taste (@theirishman). But sometimes there are movies that I can’t even tell if I want to watch or not. Enter: Holidate.

    Holidate as the number six movie on Netflix today

    Netflix

    It’s a romantic comedy about two people who agree to be each other’s platonic dates for the holidays throughout the year.

    Holidate is super popular on Netflix right now, but I wasn’t sure if it would be good-bad or just bad-bad — the 45% on Rotten Tomatoes isn’t encouraging, that’s a bad-bad score. So, I decided to watch it to see if it’s worth your time! You are so welcome. I am a hero.

    We start by meeting Sloane (Emma Roberts). She’s clearly anti-holiday. Talk about a war on Christmas!

    Sloane says, "Fucking holidays"

    Netflix

    Sloane is single! Uh-oh!

    She and her family are home for Christmas. It’s a packed house, filled with talk about Sloane’s lack of a dating life. She and her mother have an exchange that is very #2020.

    Sloane's mom says, "How does she expect to meet anybody when she sits around the house all day wearing pajamas," and Sloane says, "It's called working remote, mother, my boss doesn't care what I wear as long as I meet my quota"

    Netflix

    Same.

    Sloane’s aunt, played by the unstoppable Kristin Chenoweth, brought a mall Santa as her date. Why? He’s her HOLIDATE! That’s right! We get the title of the movie very quickly!

    Kristin Chenoweth says, "Relax, it's not like I'm going to marry him, he's just my holidate," Sloane asks, "A 'holidate,'" and Kristin Chenoweth says, "You know, a date solely for the holiday, no commitment"

    Netflix

    I love that she says “you know,” as if it’s a thing.

    Sloane is in Chicago’s Logan Square, but in suburban Evanston, Jackson (Luke Bracey) is also having a real terrible evening. He’s at the family home of a woman he’s been on three dates with. It’s clear the pair are not, cómo se dice, on the same page.

    Jackson is sitting between her date's parents on the couch

    Netflix

    Jackson is Australian. I feel this must be mentioned. He is also the guy who played Riley in Monte Carlo. I feel this also must be mentioned.

    (Excuse me while I scream about this fun line.)

    Jackson says, "'Cause chicks go mental on the holidays"

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    Is that…even a stereotype?

    Pretty soon, Sloane and Jackson meet! She’s behind him in line at a store and they have a pretty heated exchange. What a meet cute! Also, Sloane’s jacket is an A+.

    Netflix

    They bond over their bad holidays. Sloane says the words, “catching my aunt getting her cookie licked by a mall Santa” and I literally just paused it and said, “Oh my god.”

    After saying “holidate” approximately three bajillion times, Sloane and Jackson agree to be each other’s holidates for New Year’s Eve. Something tells me these kooky kids will get together in the end.

    Sloane and Jackson at a New Year's Eve party

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    (So close, yet so far.)

    Sloane says, "And I can wear a slutty dress and not worry about being slut-shamed"

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    There’s no such thing as “slutty!”

    Sloane switches dresses with a woman who got hers remarkably stained — it’s a nice moment, but the fact that it’s soon followed by a flashing joke kind of ruins the mood for me.

    Jackson lifts Sloane up in the Dirty Dancing lift and her dress rips, leaving her chest bare

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    Hardcore not my sense of humor.

    Anyway, when Valentine’s Day rolls around, Sloane runs into her ex-boyfriend who broke her heart. But Jackson saves the day by pretending to be her “little boy toy of the moment.” They decide to holidate “until further notice!” I’m now using that as a verb.

    Sloane and Jackson shaking hands weirdly

    Netflix

    Sidenote: there are a lot of cliches about women, and men, thrown around in this flick.

    They holidate it up on Saint Patrick’s Day! And Easter, where Kristin Chenoweth is fantastic! And Cinco de Mayo, where Sloane and Jackson possibly hook up while drunk! And Mother’s Day! We’re talking classic Spring holidays here, folks!

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    All of these holidays are portrayed in the most stereotypical way imaginable.

    Then, what do you know, it’s America time! Fourth Of July arrives, and Jackson gets his finger semi-blown off by a firecracker? It’s a whole thing.

    Sloane and her sister holding up Jackson

    Netflix

    It’s very Chandler’s toe, for all you Friends fans out there.

    It’s at this point I want to mention SNL’s Alex Moffat plays Sloane’s brother-in-law, so, shoutout to Alex Moffat.

    Sloane's brother-in-law yells, "Do we have the finger"

    Netflix

    The doctor for Jackson’s finger happens to be Faarooq (Manish Dayal), a guy Sloane’s mom has been trying to set her up with. Sloane hasn’t been interested, but now she’s high and touching his face a lot. I see a future source of tension rising!

    Sloane touches Faarooq's face and Jackson looks on, a bit jealously

    Netflix

    Jackson’s finger is fixed, by the way, though maybe forever numb?

    But, that night, Sloane and Jackson…touch hands! They touch hands, people! It’s all happening! Feelings o’clock!

    Sloane and Jackson touch hands and look at each other

    Netflix

    She leaves and it’s weird. There’s something in the air now. Could it be…LOVE????

    Because of the post-hand-touching weirdness, Jackson decides not to go with Sloane to her brother’s Labor Day wedding. He goes — because, of course, he independently knows her brother — with Kristin Chenoweth. Sloane goes with Faarooq. There’s a lot of overt jealousy.

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    I love how the writer got around there being no holiday between Fourth of July and Halloween, because three and a half months is way too much time to pass story-wise without holidating.

    In a turn of events I am 100% on board with, Kristin Chenoweth and Faarooq start having vibes! Therefore, Sloane and Jackson are officially going to holidate on Halloween.

    Faarooq asks, "Are you okay," Kristin Chenoweth says, "I am now," and he lifts her up

    Netflix

    This movie lives in a world where people have scheduled over-the-top parties for every major holiday of the year. Is it just me or is that not how life works?

    An elaborate Halloween party

    Netflix

    I digress. On Halloween, Sloane sees her ex-boyfriend and his very pregnant girlfriend, and it throws her for a loop. (Her sister also accidentally gives her laxatives, so, that’s a thing that happens.) Jackson brings Sloane home and helps her shower. It’s very sweet.

    Sloane smiling while Jackson, who is looking away, helps her shower

    Netflix

    Don’t love the moment where he looked after she said “don’t look,” though.

    Halloween night ends with Sloane and Jackson literally sleeping together, but the next morning, they sleep together sleep together! As in sex! Hot damn! I’m gonna put the moment after they leave frame mid sexy-times as the picture.

    The window in Sloane's bedroom

    Netflix

    Unfortunately, Sloane pretends it was just a casual “holidate” thing for her. Just tell him how you feel, Sloane! Gaaaah!

    The next time Sloane and Jackson see each other is Thanksgiving, where Jackson launches into this monologue about how beautiful she is.

    Jackson says, "There's just no way you would've gone out with me, especially not on New Year's Eve"

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    But Sloane still pretends she doesn’t like him! They have a huge fight in the grocery store! Looks like we’ve reached the low point in our story arc!

    Jackson says to Sloane, "But at least I won't be alone, sitting at the kids' table, blaming everyone else for my problems"

    Netflix

    But some good things happen on Thanksgiving. After being way too guarded, Kristin Chenoweth reunites with Faarooq! I think…this maaaaaaybe might be an example for Sloane that she should follow her feelings as well. Just spitballing here.

    Kristin Chenoweth and Faarooq kissing

    Netflix

    The example sinks in! On Christmas, Sloane finally gets brave and tells Jackson how she feels! At the mall where they met! Quel symmetry! She gets the help of a choir and everything. It’s a real moment.

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    We have our happy ending, folks! For everyone!

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    There is, I believe, an original “Holidate” song in the epilogue montage that is ridiculously cringey.

    So that’s “Holidate!” Would I recommend it? I mean, sure. It’s no Four Weddings, but it gets the job done. My rom-com void is filled for the moment.

    "The End" written over a pictures of the epilogue pictures of the characters

    Netflix

    I think the quality of Holidate is summed up by the fact that Jackson’s a golfer and Sloane’s job involves a computer and references to “Q3.” Characters in romantic comedies have either the most specific or the vaguest jobs in the world, and Holidate went with both.

    Thanks for tuning in! Until we meet again, like holidates.

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